The Challenges:

• Feeling like you are pricing yourself out of the market. By being selective, you might have a few more lonely Friday nights. But remember — quality is what you want to hold onto, so cutting someone loose because they aren’t a fit for you, just means you keep your dating pipeline open for better matches.

• Rejection. Yup, you are going to face rejection. Sometimes the people you “pick” won’t pick you back. Other times, people will make fun of you or even get mad about your new standards. Surrounding yourself with a support group who wants only the best for you might be a really good idea if you feel like a lone soldier at the front.

• Self esteem. If you are used to other people filling your esteem tank, you are going to run empty after a few weeks of this. Before that happens, start filling your own tank by developing your life and your self around what and who you want to be. When your self-esteem comes from within, no one but you can take that away.

• Remembering that if you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time. Most successful people did not just stumble into their success. They got inspired, made a plan and focused on what they wanted to achieve. And when they got it, they didn’t sit back on their laurels, they continued nurturing their dream. Do the same thing for your dating life. Aim for something and shoot!

• Changing unhealthy patterns in yourself. As you shift your selection process, you’ll start to notice that you attract people at the same level as you in many ways. If you don’t like the “losers” you attract, the answer may be as simple as looking into yourself to see what “loser” qualities you are exhibiting. Ouch. I know. This one is perhaps the hardest and takes the most honesty, vulnerability to friends/therapist/family who might help you see clearly, and determination to change. No one expects you to be perfect, but the more you are aware and willing to make changes, the more you will attract non-loser people.